You Don’t Always Need 1-on-1s (And That’s OK)
OK. This is controversial, but hear me out.
People always say that 1-on-1 meetings are essential. That managers should never skip them.
But here’s the truth:
1-on-1s are just one tool to manage your team.
And like any other meeting, if it’s not needed, don’t have it.
Here are a few reasons why I believe some 1-on-1 don't need to happen.
Not All Topics Should be in 1-on-1
Many managers tend to squeeze everything into 1-on-1, especially status updates. But think about it: we already have plenty of meetings for status updates: project syncs, daily standup, retrospectives, etc.
We don’t need to repeat the same updates in a 1-on-1.
If you want to talk about projects, you might ask:
"What are you working on this week?”
"Is it on track?"
"Any blocker?"
⚠️ Use them as an ice breaker, but don't linger.
Then you go deeper by asking:
"What are some tricky parts of your current project?”
“Want to walk me through how you're tackling that challenge?”
“What’s been going well lately?”
Questions like these lead to meaningful conversations about growth and coaching.
So, for regular updates, I would look some alternatives.
Use Other Meetings for Status Updates
1. Project Meetings
Sprint reviews or project update meetings are for aligning schedules & removing blockers. This is the exact meeting for questions like:
"Is it on track?"
"Any blocker?"
And they are also perfect for catching issues, such as communication inefficiency and frequent spec changes.
2. Leadership meetings
These meetings are among managers and senior engineers. They cover team technical decisions and brainstorming. If there are multiple senior developers in the team, use this meeting instead of 1-on-1s.
3. Parking Lot
Keep a "parking lot" in daily or weekly meetings for open discussions.
You can also use this time to pull someone aside for a quick follow-up. For example: “Hey Jake, could you stay after the meeting for 5 minutes?”
This approach avoids setting up yet another meeting, and everyone expects it because it’s part of the structure.
It also helps with early conversations without waiting until the next 1-on-1 meeting.
1-on-1 Meetings Are for Their Career
OK. Now you cut down the 1-on-1 meetings, maybe once in two weeks.
It means you have fewer opportunities to talk. So, make each one count.
Focus on what really matters:
Career support
Provide feedback
Solve their problems
Some example items to include in your agenda:
Review their "brag list" (ask them to prepare one ahead of time)
Revisit career goals and discuss progress
Check in on personal updates and life events
Gather feedback about teammates
Share broader team or org updates
Make sure you have the agenda ready every time. Follow the 1-on-1 best practices, such as be on time, be prepared, etc.
Use your limited time to build meaningful relationship. Use this time to build a strong and personal connection.
And remember that frequency can change. If someone needs more support, increase the cadence. Stay flexible.
Last Words: Work Smarter
You don’t need weekly 1-on-1s to build strong relationships. Team meetings, Slack, async updates, and spontaneous chats can all build trust.
1-on-1s are great for private conversations, but they’re not the only way to show you care. How you act in meetings, respond to messages, and support people day to day matters just as much.
Don’t stick to the pattern for the sake of it.
Focus on what works for your team.
Thank you for reading the post!
❤️ Click the like button if you like this article.
🔁 Share this post to help others find it.
About Tokyo Tech Lead
Tokyo Tech Lead is a blog/newsletter for engineering leaders. Check out this overview guide for all the resources it provides.
Work with Me
📗 Personal Coaching: I provide personal coaching and consulting service. Find details here.
✍️ Guest Post: If you are interested in writing for Tokyo Tech Lead, check this post.
If you want more content like this, consider subscribing to my newsletter.
See you in the next post!
My manager and I have skipped our 1 on 1's at times for these very reasons. If we already had tactical calls that addressed what we needed in the time leading up to our 1 on 1, we cancel it.